Enigma, Labyrinth, Lay, Life!

Fuh, I am quite tranquillized to be able to write here more times. It’s been long-term this blog stay like an old shed filled by forgotten archaic range. Yeah, I didn’t ‘make it over’, post my writings, or add some new features. I don’t know, but I seem to run out of passion in writing recently.

As you know, i think I’ve told you in my ‘Intermezzo’, I turn into enormous pasca-mature baby scientist! Since the last several months, at the time I met ‘Nm’, I went through really different world; I begin passionating to eat banquet served by Mr. Edi, my physics teacher. I seemed to restart getting formulas of physics and maths which were really unconcerned at all by then.

In my past time I was lost in a dark idealism sounds to be the best is to be focus on one thing, just one. So then I got myself to wrestle in social sciences, I wanted to be UN secretary general! I also aspired to get the first of national writing contest and to write my own book as fast as I could. I was really rash, and not conscious myself. Making me write dynamite topic of philosophy and social, I didn’t realize (and not let myself realize) that it was too huge for my small body and insight. However I didn’t concerned about, I just pretended myself to be a huge philosopher. I deceived myself.

Recently I get it. I just knew that I’ve to be able in physics, maths, and the previously unconsidered banquet: chemistry and biology! I kew that Ibnu Shina was a medical master as well as huge philosppher, Newton was a dynamite mathematician, physician, philosopher, and Leibniz was great at physics, maths, law, philosophy, politics, languanges, and religion. So just being able in social, who am i?

Also I’d like to criticize the far-reaching view: just to focus on one. I still remember my senior told me that life is like digging. Which one do you wish: the shallow wide one, or the deep narrow one. Then I chose the latter, and undertook my life in that way. In addition, I knew I got much, but didn’t feel enlighted. I could get postmodernism, semiotics, realism, security dilemma, which are the matters for college student but I didn’t know who myself is. I went out from my world to walk in the space that I really didn’t know.

Now I have alternative choice: wide as well as deep. Ya, like Ibnu Shina, Newton, and Leibniz. I think l’ve committed crime to restrict myself in a small room (or perhaps prison) among the unlimited world.

However, I merely don’t intend to regret my past time. I walk in complicated labyrinth, and there must be turnings; in which I have to change my direction. I know the time has come, the time for me to turn over. However, I am bent on not repeating the same waste, I still want to write, study about social sciences, philosophy, languages, and I don’t wanna let everyting go. It is not lay, just a complicated enigma. Finally, at the edge there, I’ll know something. It’s life.